Friday, May 7, 2021
Sex, sexuality--and why love is not an emotion.
Sex, sexuality, and real love.
I tire quickly from reading about the ethics and politics of homosexuality, transgenderism, extramarital sex (vs. extra marital sex, which of course is a good thing), and so forth. But anything related to sex is the topic of our times. So I’ll get a bunch of links out of the way all at once and won’t have to plague you with this topic for a few weeks.
“Polyamory’s Bourgeois War on Normality: Haven’t you heard? Consensual non-monogamy is totally normal and respectable.” The practice seems to be a rising trend. It’s an example of a genre, starting in the 1960s, whose main concern is normalizing all manner of sexual behavior.
“Cohabitation Among Evangelicals: A New Norm?” This is not an apology for the practice, but a summary of recent research. As the author notes, “It is stunning that this has quietly come to pass among adherents to a form of Christianity that emphasizes radical obedience to an inerrant Bible, forbids all sex outside marriage, and emphasizes being distinct from ‘the world.’ ” I have no doubt that we will soon see more evangelical justifications (there have already been a few) for what has traditionally been known as fornication.
“So Is Living Together Before Marriage Linked to Divorce or What? Why researchers can’t agree after decades of studies.” To be transparent, I thought I should include this since previous research has led me to argue that, if the couple marries, it more likely leads to a later divorce. The logic: To enter into a sexual relationship to test whether it “works” suggests a mindset that allows one to end it all when it stops, well, “working.” This is the mindset of many couples, including most Christians today, who fail to grasp that marriage is one of those things in which commitment of the will is more central than whether it feels like it’s working or not. The latest research seems to be divided about this. So, I may be left with only the ethical argument, which admittedly doesn’t have much purchase these days. But this isn’t the first era in which Christians have struggled to sustain their ethical commitments regarding sex. And if we’re all honest, even those who hold high biblical standards have failed to live up to them more than we like to admit.
“Finnish Christian politician Päivi Räsänen formally charged for hate crime against homosexuals.” I’m sure we’ll see more of this sort of behavior from governing bodies in the coming years. It’s clear, however, that this woman does not hate homosexuals:
Räsänen has repeatedly said, “The teachings concerning marriage and sexuality in the Bible arise from love, not hate,” because “the core message of faith, i.e. grace and atonement, is founded on the Christian view of humanity seen in creation, on the one hand, and the great fall, on the other.” She also has made clear that she supports the dignity and human rights of all homosexuals, because “the Christian view of human beings is based on the inherent and equal dignity of all persons.”
Alas, such distinctions are increasingly lost on many.
“Love as Impassibility.” We’re dipping into substantive theology now, and it relates to today’s theme. An upcoming event in German Catholicism illustrates the problem:
A group of dissenting priests has … compiled a list of services that will take place nationwide on or around May 10, where priests will publicly bless gay couples….
St. Marien-KircheNordstraße said they will hang a banner above the main entrance of the church: “You love each other? We bless you!”
“This is how it should be: We would like to celebrate and bless the gift of love with everyone ‘who love each other,’ all couples, friendships, love relationships. All who reflect the colorfulness of God's love in their lives!”
The doctrine of God’s impassibility illumines what drives classical Christian sexual ethics. Let Richard Beck (and David Bentley Hart) explain the doctrine—though, to be fair, they do not have sexual ethics in mind. Still, the conclusion—that love is not an emotion but a way of being—cuts to the heart of so much confusion about sexuality today, when all conversation is driven by the emotions that sexual attraction arouses in us.
Sexy Is Not Stupid
In her day, Hedy Lamarr was considered the most beautiful woman in the world. She had a healthy perspective on her good looks: “Any girl can be glamorous. All you have to do is stand still and look stupid.” It turns out she wasn’t stupid and in fact was one of the smartest people in the world, winning a prestigious award for her work in technology. This audio clip is part of a series, “The American Story,” that GR readers may appreciate.
Grace and peace,
Mark Galli